| hi guys |
[05 Aug 2006|06:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Alot of shit. |
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So yeah, I've kinda been out for a while, sorry about that. I lost internet access when I came to san diego since my laptop broke. So sorry I havent been keeping in touch with everybody. I just recently started trying to talk to everyone, its crazy how much has changed. You guys will probably read this post and be like "what? who the shit is that? hes still on my friends list?" lol. Just to reiterate, I'm Ced. And stuff. :)
So yeah like about this time last year I first joined the navy. One whole year, thats like 1/20th of my life. Im gonna like reflect on my experiences in the last year since you know, thats what you're supposed to do you know? Like when you have a job for a year, you start asking yourself "is this really what I wanna do?" and when you're in a relationship for a year you celebrate and look back and stuff. A year is like a milestone. I think.
My ideas so far have been that alot of the time, people in charge shouldnt be in charge. But thats cool though because I always think my boss is a complete idiot no matter who they are, unless they're cool. If they're cool then they're not a complete idiot, they're cool. The line between coolness and idiotness is whether you care more about yourself, or more about the people who work under you. if you only see yourself in the big picture, and you only do things to make yourself look good, and only do things so that your career looks better and are only motiviated by what makes you look good, then I think you'll turn out to be a bad boss. But if you care about the people who work under you, and try to make things better for them, or try to help them out, then youll be a good boss. Theres not to many good bosses out there. And so far in my experience the Navys the same way. Except bosses in the Navy have a little more power than most other bosses. This could all change when I go to my ship, but thats my opinion to this point.
Also, I've met a ton of different kinds of people from a ton of different places. ive even met dudes from Turkey and Jamaica. Theres alot of cool people out there. I think I've met someone from like almost every state.
I dont have the same freedoms I used to, like I cant do the same things that I used to because then Ill get in trouble, which would suck because punishments suck alot more and they can do more to you, like put you on bread and water rations for a week or something. That shit would suck.
......and some other stuff I dunno Im not really in a looking back kinda mood I guess, I dunno.
I miss all the people I used to talk to on here though, I dunno. I hope nobodys like pissed because I didnt do or respond to anything for the longest time. It seems like everybody is spaced out though. Like everybody doesnt talk like they used to. I remember when wed be in chatrooms until like 4 in the morning. That was cool.
This entries not coming out the way I thought it over, I cant get the right tone, maybe Im not saying "fuck" enough or something. I can always get the right tone when I cuss alot, or when Im angry. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It feels kinda good to say fuck. Like everytime I say fuck I feel a little anger come out of me. And you can use fuck for everything like
fuck you
you're a fucker
you're fucking serious?
fuck!
fuck me
what the fuck?
why the fuck would you do that?
probably some more stuff, but fuck is a healthy word. Shit doesnt get the same like effect. Shit is a weaker cuss word. Actually lets categorize the cuss words.
I can think of like 2 really powerful cuss words. Fuck and Bitch.
everything else like asshole, or shithead, or piece of shit, are second tier. it could be different, but thats how it seems to me. How did I even get to talking about this? what the fuck?<--------good use of fuck. excellent delivery.
Its not that Im not creative enough to say sentences without cursing, I just like to curse, I feel like I can express myself better when I throw in the occasional fuck or shit.
This entry is so long, dont worry I wont blame you if you dont read the whole thing.
I realized I still have the layout Kaffie made for me like a year and a half ago. lol. I havent talked to her in forever, or stephii, or sharii. I talked to brendii the other day, and I actually met Whit. We had dinner, which was great, and took funny pictures. She got one of me in her glasses where i looked really ghey.
I wanna say something but I cant think of what I wanna say. Ill just talk about other stuff until it comes to me.
So like I had this girl friend for a while and we just broke up. You know what I hated about it though? Well me and this girl have known each other for 2 years, but we never said anything until 6 months ago and by then both of us were crazy about each other. So we got together and like it was a great 6 months, and it was great until we realized that there was no way we could be together. I loved her so fucking much and we had to break up because it couldnt be. I think thats why Im still a little depressed today. We broke up last saturday and Im still reeling. Like I wanted to cry over it because it sucked so much. Its like perfect people for each other, just the wrong time. The reason I hate that kind of breakup is because theres 2 parts to every person, theres your logical side, and your emotional side. If you breakup with someone, usually you want to do it, and logically it makes sense to break up with them if you dont want to be with them. However in my situation, and im sure you guys understand cause some of you have been through it before. My logical side was saying "you guys should break up and stuff, you cant be together theres no way it would work out, you being away all the time" And my emotional side was in love with her, I wanted to be with her because I loved her more than I ever loved a girl before. So when we had to break up, we both were feeling like we had to break up, it was a good breakup no arguing or fighting, we both knew it had to happen, it hurt more because my heart couldnt make sense out of it. So its like 2 sides of me cant connect, they cant agree, its kinda tearing me apart. Its not so bad right now because I think Im getting over it, but it was pretty bad.
Damn that was alot to write. I didnt mean for it to be so long. WHat I really wanted to do with this entry is maybe like start talking to some more people again or something. Like get back into contact. My number is
224-627-2763.<----------MY PHONE NUMBER.
Had to capitalize that in case anyone was just scrolling through so theys notice it. So yeah Id love it if you guys could give me a call sometime.
Ill try to update more often.
Later ladies and gents
-Ced
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2 grieved :: lament
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| sry i havent updated in so long |
[17 Nov 2005|08:12pm] |
Im back, sort of. I went through all of bootcamp, it wasnt so bad, yeah it did suck and I'm just gonna say how accurate to real life Full Metal Jacket is, omg. Dude the first couple days were just like that. It was nine weeks long, I'll even chronicle that shit.
Week 1: You're a bitch this week, and your RDC's(Recruit Division Commanders) yell at you about everything. They cant really beat you yet, since you haven't gotten your FFD(Fit for Full Duty) stamp on your service record. You'd be surprised how many people get discharged at this stage, my division lost like 7-9 people in these 5 days. You usually get up at 4:00, they rush you into the shower, and all 80 of you have about 10-15 minutes to use the showers, theres like 5 showers. This is your P-Days(Processing Days) and you're asking yourself "wtf was wrong with me and why did I ever do this". So much information to memorize.
Week 2: This week is where you start your training, you start PTing 6 days a week, going to classes, all kinds of training. They make you work as a team here, make sure everybody is squared away. If one person makes a mistake, everybody gets beat, you cant talk anywhere, you cant talk while your eating, you cant talk outside, you cant talk outside the compartment unless spoken to. But on the good side, you finally get your uniforms with your name on them and everything, it feels pretty good. You start 1-1 day of training this week. and you get your first Holiday Routine, which is where you take care of business from 600-1300.
Week 3: More classes, classes on grooming, wearing the uniform, harder PT, more beatings. omg we got beat everyday from here until battlestations because people do stupid shit. You march everywhere, you get your room inspections, uniform inspections, drill inspections, all that good stuff. You havent talked to your family for 2 weeks so they let you get a 15 minute phone call, if you're good. You get fitted for your dress uniforms, you're marching better, RDC's are pointing you out, asking the P-day divisions to use you as an example of how they should march. It gets a little better.
Week 4: It gets worse, now they can make you drop and do pushups whenever, before you had to do IT, and its a little less sucky. They drop you alot this week, for people doing dumb shit, like not making their rack right, if your bunkmate fucks up, you do pushups for letting him fuck up. You fire guns the last day of this week, its pretty sweet, but its air rifles, you dont live fire yet. You getr seamanship classes on how to use a boat signal flags, casting lines. You get to bring a ship into port and cast away, and damn those lines are huge, they're like aqs thick as grown mens arms, its fun though.
Week 5: Live fire week, Hell Yes. You get to shoot the 9 millimeter and a 12 guage shotgun, I loved this shit man, I tore that target up. I blew the whole bottom off of it with the shotgun when I fired. They teach you to never point a loaded, hot, weapon at the deck because its not like the army where theres ground below you, you could puncture the deck and cause a leak. You also get your last inspections and earn flags for achievement in certain areas. You get to march around base with these flags to show off how good, or be ashamed of how sucky you are. And at any point if you fail a certain amount of things, you get set back in training, which sucks. It starts getting better though, less beatings since everyone is starting to get used to it.
Week 6: Live Fire, Firefighting, Gas Chamber. You do some more gun shooting, its pretty sweet. You also start your firefighting classes. First you learn about different types of fires, then you learn about firefighting equipment, you put it all on, man you get hot in that shit really fucking fast. You are sweating like a bitch. You do your gas chamber, that shit sucked. You put on your gas mask and walk into the chamber. You have 10 seconds to put it on and they start making the gas, they burn the tablets on this little plate. I was unlucky enough to be standing right next to the heat plate. That sucked. You are in ranks, and if you havent gotten your mask on by now, everyone knows. Rank by rank you step up and take your masks off and hold them in the air, and you cup your hand under your mouth to catch all the drool. They walk up to you and you say your name and social security number, and your sailors creed, then they right face you and march you outside. Its crazym your RDC is laughing at you the whole time.
Week 7: Battlestations prep week. You get issued a gas mask, run through a fucking thousand gas gas gas drills. WHenever someone says "gas gas gas" you have 10 seconds to put on your mask or everyone drops. You pretty much do everything that prepares you for battlestations, and you're motivated as fuck because you're about to get out.
Battlestations: DUring the day you run drills to get ready for battlestations, then at 8 oclock at night these guys come into the room yelling "General Quarters, General Quarters, All hands man your battlestations, reason for general quarters, missile inbound port side" then you got 5 minutes to get from shorts and a shirt to complete battle dress and at attention. Your section leader yells out "section "#" manned a ready to proceed with battlestations". All through the night you run from place to place simulating real life situations that would occur and are designed to stress you out. then at 10 oclock the next morning you get your navy ballcap, and if you dont cry at this, you're wrong. You're pretty much a sailor after you pass battlestations. And you get treated like a human. You march around with your navy ballcaps all proud. Big ass breakfast, all that good stuff.
Week 8: Graduation week, marching practice, uniform refits, all that good stuff, and after a 2 hour ceremony you graduate and ship off to "A" school, where I am now.
A school: Man its rougher here than bootcamp, less sleep, more work, you can actually lose your job if you mess up to much, so you have to take everything seriously. But when you're not on duty, its alot more laid back. You dont have to go to bed at 10, you get off base liberty when you're phase 2.
Phases of Liberty:
Phase 1: You have to wear your uniform everywhere, curfew at 2145. On base liberty only except on the weekend.
Phase II: Civilian clothes liberty, curfew at 2145 during the week, 2345 on weekends. You can wear regular clothes and go off base everyday.
Phase III: Phase 2 pretty much except you dont have to come back until 5:30 the next morning, and you dont have to come back at all on weekends, you can stay out.
Its great to be Phase III ;].
every 4 days you stand duty, which is like... watches, cleaning the barracks, colorguard, stuff like that. I've done colors like 3247852438975 times and stood 324987523409875 watches. It sucks, cause your watch can be at like 3 in the morning, whenever they want to put you on.
you go to school every weekday, come back, go to PT or whatever you have to do, then go to NMT, which can be team building, history, academics, or duty. You usually get liberty at like 6 or 7 oclock and you wake up at 5 oclock. Some days you dont get liberty until later though, your chief controls your liberty, whenever he wants to get it to you. BUt most days are like 14-16 hour workdays. SOme days , like some fridays, you get liberty at 1300.
Thats what I'm doing now, its really tiring, like ive only gotten 3 hours of sleep a day for the last week or so, but I'm still glad I did it.
And people always buy you drinks and stuff when you go into town since you're military, you get military discounts on stuff all that good stuff. Girls are all over you >.>;
I got Proditor for my AIM SN again so sedurick is dead everybody gotta IM me on proditor plzzzzzzzzzzzz. Cause I wanna talk to everybody.
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8 grieved :: lament
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[15 Jul 2005|03:31am] |
Um. Hi. Countdown is at 2 and a half weeks.
Today I didnt do too much, just went for a little run, jammed with this guy at my apartment complex and some other stuff i dont remember. Dude I don't remember half the shit I do. Like Ill ask a question then completely zone out and not remember what someone said back, then 5 minutes later I ask the same question and Im like "o.o;" and all looking like an idiot or something. Maybe its just when I'm tired. I dunno.
I didnt finish those 100 facts either, I don't think I can. Dude I had to like rape my mind to get those 34 or 36 or however many there were. Theres not 100 things to say about me anyway. btw the #1 at taco bell is the shit. I tried that today, I'm hooked.
I've been hearing the word ho alot lately. I guess its important whether you're a ho or not. Or its important not to go after what you want or some bullshit. Man you always hear about old people always going all like "Man I wish I did this and that", I dont know about you guys, but I want to be some old fuck thats like "Hell yeah man, I tried that.....like 50 times." As long as its not about like killing people or straight wrong shit like that. I'm not gonna pass an opportunity up that looks good to me. And I dont see anything wrong with having sex with every boyfriend or girlfriend you've ever had. Dude sex is fun. Have fun. Just not babies :D. Ho = word made up to make people feel bad about themselves for who they are. Wanting to look sexy isnt being a ho. Fuck that double standard bullshit.
On other news War of the Worlds is the shit. Except the end, kinda lame. Not gonna spoil it for anyone or anything.
I havent been able to update much lately, I dunno what the hell to say in this journal thing. I wish it could read my mind and write down what I thought, cause that would be alot easier.
My one friend down in baltimore completely forgot about me or wants to forget about me. She said I'm some kinda terrible person or something because of something. I try to be nice to people like for real, I hardly ever yell raise my voice or anything, and I can even be convinced I'm wrong sometimes. its crazytalk I know cause I'm never wrong and everything. But I dont mean to piss people off or make them not want to talk to me.
I cut off all my hair, Its like really short now, I used to have to use a handful of shampoo but now I dont have to use much at all, plus I dont sweat like a bitch outside. Nice change. Some people told me I look hotter too, but I think I broke my webcam and my dad threw it away so I can't give you guys any pictures. Besides I dont wanna force you to buy plane tickets to come get some cause Im so hot. You know how it is.
Um thats all I have to say, people need to call me man, I know some of you guys have my number calllll. I dont have anyones number cause they like to change them. But call me fools.
Peace and love.
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7 grieved :: lament
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| Women suck. |
[11 Oct 2004|10:41pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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I fucking cant stand fucking women. And what they fucking do to you once you start trusting them. Every fucking time I've reached out to a girl, this shit happens. Fuck bitches e_e;
You dont fuckin say you love me, fucking blow me off all week. No dont call Ced, your bf, the one you're supposed to be in love with. Lets call all ur friends and talk to them, forget Ced. Fuck fucking bitches e_e;
Dude I've been with her for 7 months, and at first it was all fine and dandy, it was great I <3'd it. And you know if it had been like this from the start, talking every once in a while, I could live with that. But at first we talked alot, chilled out. It felt like she actually fucking loved me. Now its just like Im on the fucking backburner. Fuck bitches.
Man I remember saying that emotional pain wasnt as bad as physical pain. Id like to rethink that right about now. During the summer, I felt the worst Ive ever felt in my life. Every time I call her shes with her guy friends laughing in the background. She never has any fucking time for me. Im just an afterthought. All the shit I've done for her to make it work, go see her. We wouldnt even be together if I hadnt tried to hard to make it fucking work.
I took 2 bus trips down to see her, each one costing me in the 500 buck range. I did that for her. And she cant even fucking call me. Dude I cant make it work by myself.
I feel like its all just a wasted effort now. I dont think Im ever gonna be like that with a girl again. Fuck being all nice and paying to go visit them, cause it just turns out to be a waste in the end. They make you feel like shit, then they leave you. I think a girl is the last thing I need now.
I guess shes tired of me. Whatever. Its karma, I think. I deserve all this. I guess its a taste of my own medicine because I used to be an asshole.
Either way, women fucking suck and so does life. Im not gonna bother explaining it anymore. Just fuck it. I hate this. Fuck you and your I have a pussy so I can do anything attitudes. You cant do anything. Go fuck yourself. (except DK and other female friends of mine. I think thats why Im friends with you guys)
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[18 Aug 2004|11:52pm] |
kaizer
SECTION 1: GET TO KNOW ME
1. First Name: Ced
2. Nicknames: Ced
3. Age: 17
4. Siblings: brother
5. Who do you have a crush on?: the fuck would I admit it on here for?
6. Birth date: November 22nd, 1986
7. Screen name(s): Sedurick, Proditor
8. Where you live: Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
SECTION 2: MORE INFO
1. Beeper: ?
2. Favorite Salad Dressing: I hate Salad and salad dressing
3. Favorite band(s): Fear Factory, Coal Chamber, Mudvayne. Stuff like that
4. Favorite movie: Dunno
5. Favorite book: DUnno.
6. Favorite type of music: Industrial rock
7. Favorite car: dunno. One that works without fucking up?
8. Favorite Saying(s): Dont really have one.
9. Favorite Fast food: Big Mac.
10. Favorite Ice Cream: Cookies & Cream
11. Favorite Drink: Rootbeer, Mountain Dew
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Captain Morgan :D
13. Favorite Flower: Dunno. I dont really know the names of flowers.
14. Favorite Food: Dunno. I like lots of food.
15. Favorite Song: I like lots of songs too, shit.
16. Favorite Television Show(s): I got this weird thing for Babylon 5.
17. Favorite Radio Station: 105.7 the X. Howard Stern comes on there sometimes, his show rox.
18. Favorite Candy: Snickers bitch.
19. Favorite color: Green.
20. Favorite Sneakers: I dont really care. I like shit stompers though.
21. Favorite Smell: No idea.
22. Favorite Brand of Gum: Orbit.
23. Favorite Animal Reptile: Snake.
24. Favorite place to sleep: in my bed.
25. Favorite thing to do in the summer: Play football. Feels like 9th grade all over again.
26. Winter: Play football o_o
SECTION 3: THE FUTURE
1. School: 4 years hopefully.
2. Where you want to live: Who cares? Long as I enjoy it.
3. How many kids: Doesnt matter to me.
4. What kind of Job: Hopefully one that pays good, probably security.
5. Get Married: Thats what Im here to do, get married and reproduce.
SECTION 4: HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Been in jail: No.
2. Done drugs: Yes.
3. Ran away from home: yeah.
4. Hit a Girl: no.
5. Hit a Guy: Oh hell yeah, I used to box.
6. Stolen anything: Yeah, usually candy bars.
8. Cheated on a test: Yeah.
9. Been with 2 guys/girls at the same time: no.
10. Been in the Hospital: Yup.
11. Been skinny-dipping: Yeah.
12. Cheated on anyone: No.
13. Been cheated on: Yeah.
SECTION 5: WHICH IS BETTER?
1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke.
2. cats or dogs: Dog.
3. One pillow or 2: 2
4. deaf or blind: Blind.
5. hot tubs: Oh yeah. ;]
6. Television or radio: Television.
7. Cool ranch or Nacho: Ranch.
8. Mud wrestling or JELLO: Jello.
SECTION 6: WHAT IS
1. Your most prized possession: I dunno. I have a few i keep in my wallet.
2. The thing that makes you the happiest: Knowing someone loves me. It sounds gay, yeah, and I feel gay for saying it, but it makes me feel complete.
3. The worst thing that ever happened to you: Oh man, probably when I got my ass kicked by my best friend after he took my girl from me.
4. Your favorite slow song: Dunno.
5. The grossest thing you have ever eaten: I dont eat shit that looks really nasty.
6. Your biggest Fantasy: I dunno if I wanna say it on here.
7. The best feeling in the world: Doing something no one else thought you could do.
8. The worst feeling in the world: When it feels like no one cares about you.
9. The scariest thing that has ever happened to you: Dunno.
10. The best number in the world: Dunno.
11. The best memory of this year: Hehehehe.
12. The thing you miss the most: Sami.
SECTION 8: WHO?
1. Makes you laugh the most: Dunno, alot of people make me laugh.
2. Who you hate: no one.
3. Knows the most about you: sami i think.
4. Who do you trust: kaffie alot. sami.
5. Seems to be the most down to earth: me?
6. Has it easier-guys or girls: dunno.
7. Loudest person you know: lasheena.
8. Craziest person you know: brendii.
9. Weirdest person you know: dunno.
10. Who are you thinking about right now: sami x_x
11. Who do you miss: sami x_x
SECTION 9: MORE USELESS BUT NEAT INFORMATION
1. Do you ever save AIM conversations: no. when you save it, and look back at it again, it loses some of its meaning.
2. Do you save e-mails: some.
3. Do you save pictures people send you: usually.
4. How many people are on your buddy list: 75 i cleaned it out
5. Do you like motorcycles: yes.
6. What are your favourite stores: best-buy
7. Are you a player: no.
8. When do you go to sleep: When I'm tired.
9. When do you wake up: 6 hours after i go to sleep usually.
10. Do you sleep with a nightlight: no.
11. What do you wear to bed: boxers
12. Is your bed made: No. o.o
14. Where do you wish you were right now: in TN.
15. Are you righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: lefty
16. What's on the walls of your room: wall
17. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: no.
18. Do you eat chicken with a fork or your fingers: fork and fingers.
19. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of: scorpion, snake, or tribal.
20. When was the last time you took a shower: morning.
SECTION 10: LIFE NOW
1. What are you doing right now? survey, and talking to my baby.
2. What time is it? 12:33
3. Have any plans for tonight? No.
4. Seen anyone you know today? nope.
5. What were your first words this morning?"god damn sun."
6. What do you think of this survey? its cool.
7. How long did it take you? good ass minute.
8. Any final words? nope. or is nope my final word? or is word my final word now. i think word is my final word.
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128 grieved :: lament
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| wow. |
[22 Jul 2004|07:28pm] |
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music |
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Korn - Here to Say |
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check this shit out. Stole it from Macky, since I have nothing else to do....AND NO ONE IS ON. because you all have lives unlike me.
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4 grieved :: lament
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| Changes. |
[17 Jul 2004|10:28pm] |
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music |
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Mudvayne - Dig |
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Bleh, I got in some trouble at work today for fighting. Since its my first bad thing I did, I get off easy and stuff.
The chick in my last entry, who thinks I'm all jealous of her ugly ass and her fucked up supposedly tough bf, brought his ass into the kitchen. And he got in my face, since I called him a motherfucker for laughing at me when my hernia was hurting after i lifted his heavy ass garbage basket thingy and dumped it into the trash. So he gets in my face, pushes me, I push him back, you know thats how everything always starts anyway. He starts to like walk away, then dude just swings at me, but I got out of the way. I fucked him up really nice though, part of his tooth got stuff in my knuckle and I fucked his lip up really bad. After he got up, the supervisor came in to see what all the noise was and I got written up after she made the guy leave. I think he was crying.
It felt great though, and nobody in there liked him anyway so I didnt really catch hell for getting blood on the floor. Only problem is that the girl, is the bosses fucking daughter/neice i forget which one. So she might try to get me fired e_e;. Fuck that.
Other than that, I'm not sure where my life is going. Someone told me to stop thinking ahead about everything, and just live right now. I might do that. Its kinda hard though cause like I'm always thinking, since Im always bored. <3 doing nothing.
Been thinking about visiting Baltimore since me and Brandon arent really talking anymore, be nice to go and see him and shit, maybe sneak into a club with him. But I dont feel like partying anymore. Its just a waste of my time, and whenever I do go out nowadays to friends parties 'n such, I feel like an outsider looking in. Its not like it used to be. Kinda weird. I DONT KNOW MAN.
Cant even really hang around my family anymore either, its kinda unnerving. Dude I'm nothing like them. Maybe its cause I didnt grow up in the same environment, instead I grew up in the city. I always get looked at weird and no one tells me why. Wtf is so different about me? I swear to god dude, I look normal, like everyone else, I fucking act like everyone else. But I get weird looks ALL the fucking time, and people deny it and shit. You would never pick me out from a crowd, imo. Whatever =/
work t3h sux. If Sami wasnt around I dunno what I'd do. I love that girl.
MAYBE IM PSYCHOTIC O_O;
I'm not pissed im just curious. It freaks me out o_o;
I WONDER THOUGH...what colleges should I apply to? <3 online admission forms.
1. OSU
2. Wesleyan
3. NC State
4. Miami
5. Penn State
6. Some random community college
I wonder if you need more than 6. Probably a good idea.
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4 grieved :: lament
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| wow. |
[13 Jul 2004|07:50am] |
| [ |
music |
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Coal Chamber - Fiend |
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Life is funny. Been working a little more than usual lately, but still not that much. Only gonna get a 400 dollar paycheck. Minus the taxes takes my shit down to 300 >( fuckers. But honestly, I wouldnt care if I lost a little more to taxes as long as they got rid of GW. Cause at least Id know Id wake up without some dude like, bombing america. George Bush is looking for a way to postpone or cancel elections now, cause of a terrorist threat, btw.
People at work are the funniest people man, I swear. Some chick has this buttfuckingugly boyfriend, and she brings his ass into the kitchen while I'm trying to work. And shes surprised when I get pissed at the dude cause hes staring at me. Later on she tells me Im jealous and I was at a loss for words. Its just like "nodog i already have a girl whos 10x cooler and finer than your ass." She wont take no for an answer though. I'm glad I don't have to work with her anymore though, and when I do, switch days with people. Childish, yes? I'm just trying to protect her bf though :(. Incase he tries to laugh at me when my hernia hurts from lifting something big again. Hes lucky I didnt see him laughing the first time, or Id take his last 5 or so teeth away from him.
I went down to TN last month and lived with Sami for like, a week. Had fun. First real vacation in years, I gotta say. She makes good eggs. o_o. We had lots of fun though, I really did get my moneys worth while I was down there. We were always doing stuff and just having fun in general. And I realized that I horribly suck at guitar. :D IT WAS A RIGHT HANDED GUITAR DAMNIT >_>. Like I wouldnt suck at a left handed guitar too though. o_o. DUDE THAT THING IS HARD THOUGH. you gotta do like exorcist shit with your hands just to get notes on the sumbitch (fucking b chord). Sami and Nikki pwnd the guitar though. Damn Indian. Chronicles of Riddick is the shit btw. And we went Pulp Fiction on this zombie arcade game. Its always fun shooting shit up, right?
Nikkis yellow cake fucking rocked though. Yellow flavor.. wtf? How is something yellow flavored? I'm still not over that u_u;
Whats funny though, is how they treated me all terrorist-like at the military base thing cause I didnt bring any photo id.
I had a great time though, and plan on going down again, half price this time since I didnt use my return ticket.
Me and Sami are coming up on 6 months being together, just crossed the 5 barrier. Living proof that long distance relationships can work if you trust each other and stuff. Like I know shes never cheated on me and vice versa. I love that girl o.o.
My stomach actually hurts I miss her so much sometimes. Which is scary to me. Cause thats never happened to me before. I hope it lasts 6 more months.
A bunch of my friends had problems with me going down there, saying yadda yadda you need to be with someone closer, me being the d-bag I am, wouldnt stfu and take what they were saying, so there was a big arguement and I lost oh maybe, half my friends. No regrets though, I always was more of a loner anyway. Dont really get along with people up here. Dont really get along with guys period.
I also got my GPA over the 2.0, and got a 1300 on my SATs, which means I can most likely get into some college, even if it isnt a good one. Least I caught a chance at higher education though. >:D.
It feels like kind of a waste, how I spend months working on my 40 yd dash and my 20m shuttle, but ended up getting a hernia, and now cant play football. Really pissed me off and feels like a waste, but I'm pretty much over it now. keke at least i got into great shape and look hawt.
kimdonebye.
|
6 grieved :: lament
|
| i am fucked up |
[07 Jul 2004|07:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 its a sad day :( |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
waves taking kaffies house away |
] |
well kaffie was playing bnb with us today, but she left. Me and Brendii were left to assume what could have happened to her. We know now. All of San Jose was swept away by a flood. In fact all of Cali was. u_u R.I.P k so kaffies house is still there, once they find it, and me and brendii being the greedy little bitches we are, began claiming stuff.
Ced Claims:
Comp
Jack Skellington stuff ( except the shirt)
Gangster bandana
Ramen
Router(so i can bash it for screwing up so many of my dls) >(
Digicam
Brendii Claims:
Manga and Anime (except whats on the comp cause thats mine, beeyotch)
Jack Skellington Shirt ( i gave it to her out of pity for the sick, god im nice u_u)
Gackt stuff
Wallscrolls
Cd-Player
her Kitty
Webcam
Anyone else who wants some of her shit should claim it like, soon, before they give it all away :(
|
8 grieved :: lament
|
| Survey. |
[10 Jun 2004|03:51pm] |
Firsts:
First best friend: This muslim dude names Schawann.
First car: Fuck you, I'm carless.
First screen name: FuZiONXZ
First self purchased album: Uhh.... Eminems first cd i think.
First funeral: My Uncle Thom.
First pets: 6 kittens. One died tho.
First piercing/tattoo: Ear once. DOne sealed up now. :(
First credit card: NONE. I have an ATM though? :(
First true love: NOYB fuck off.
First enemy: Kid named James in 6th grade. We got in a fight and i broke his nose :) Then we became friends. rofl.
First big trip: Dunno.
First music you remember hearing in your house: Bryan Adams.
Lasts
Last cigarette: I quit in Feb.
Last car ride: To blockbuster.
Last kiss: November?
Last good cry: Fuck off.
Last library book checked out: Dunno.
Last movie seen: In the theater? Bruce Almighty.
Last beverage drank: ...Dunno.
Last food consumed: CHICKEN.
Last crush: Myself, I'm just that fucking hot.
Last phone call: Err... Dunno.
Last time showered: This morning.
Last shoes worn: My reeboks that i got in the middle of 10th grade.
Last item bought: MP3 player.
Last annoyance: Dumb ass people.
Last time wanting to die: bitch plz.
Last time scolded: yesterday.
Fashion | Stuff
01. Where is your favorite place to shop? Dunno.
02. Any tattoos or piercings? You already asked, fucker.
Specifics
01. Do you do drugs? Clean since Feb. Eat that shit.
02. What kind of shampoo do you use? Suave. Cheap ass shit.
03. What are you most scared of? I dunno, I really dont like water though.
04. What are you listening to right now? Static-X - Bled For Days
05. Where do you want to get married? Who the fuck cares?
06. How many buddies are online right now? 8.
07. What would you change about yourself? I would...change my hair. So it wasnt all nappy and then people would ask if i was part puerto rican.
Favourites
01. Colour: Green.
02. Food: Pizza.
03. Boys' Names: Fuck
04. Girls' Names: off
05. Subjects In School: Lunch, and Gym.
06. Animals: Dogs.
07. Sports: Football, Boxing.
08. Perfume: ....ew.
09. Cologne: I dont wear that shit.
Have | you | ever
01. Given anyone a bath? Hell naw.
02. Smoked? Yeah, what of it?
03. bungee jumped? No.
04. Made yourself throw up? Yes.
05. Skinny dipped? Yes.
06: Ever been in love? Yeah. Now.
07. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? wtf no.
08. Pictured your crush naked? Oh, but I do... often >:D
09. Actually seen your crush naked? I wish :(
10. Cried when someone died? Nah, thats weak.
11. Lied? Yeah.
12. Fallen for your best friend? Nope.
13. Been rejected? Yes.
14. Rejected someone? Yes.
15. Used someone? Hell no.
16. Done something you regret? Fuck yeah.
Current
Clothes: Wife beater and some blue jeans.
Music: Now Rammstein - Rein Raus
Make-up: ... no fag.
Smell: smoke. my parents.
Favorite artist: Sami.
Desktop picture: Nine Inch Nails.
Dvd in player: The Last Samurai
Color of toenails: err..toenail.
Last | person
You touched: .. my friend Juan.
Hugged: Havent hugged anyone in a few days.
You IMed: Stephii.
You kissed: NOYB. She was a bitch anyway. Lucky she moved away. Lying tramp. >/
Are | you
Understanding: Yeah, usually.
Open-minded: About most things.
Arrogant: Of course, I'm italian. I call it confidence.
Insecure: Yeah.
Interesting: Whatev. Sometimes.
Hungry: Nah, just had me some chicken.
Smart: About some stuff.
Moody: I dunno.
Hardworking: When I really need to be.
Organized: Fuck no.
Healthy: Reasonably.
Shy: Sure, why not?
Attractive: I'm ok.
Bored easily: No.
Responsible: About some things.
Obsessed: Dunno.
Angry: Oh hell yeah. who doesnt get angry?
Sad: Sometimes I guess. Who the fuck isn't?
Disappointed: Not really. I usually expect what happens =/
Happy: Sometimes.
Hyper: Dude I get fucking crazy sometimes. Mountain Dew :(
Trusting: Not really.
Talkative: Sometimes.
Legal: NOPE.
Who | do | you | wanna
Kill: You know who you are. ::COUGHSAMICOUGH.::
Slap: Few of my friends who dont know when to stfu.
Get high with: I dont wanna get high.
Look like: Me.
Talk to offline: Dunno, Samis fun to talk to. Anyone who will actually talk.
Talk to online: Myself.
Which | is | better
Coke or Pepsi: pepsi or coke, i dont give a shit.
Flowers or candy: Candy... cause flowers = gay.
Tall or short: Who cares?
Random
In the morning I am: Asleep.
All I need is: I'm not gonna say it, cause itll make me look bad :(
Love is: lovely?
I dream about: things that I wouldnt tell you.
What do you notice first: Legs.
Last person you danced with: I havent danced in years.
Worst question to ask: "Have you ever had a GF?"
Who makes you laugh the most: Dunno.
Who makes you smile: Sami.
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: Myself... in the mirror. ;] KIDDING.
Who do you have a crush on: More than a crush.
Who has a crush on you: I dont really care.
Do | you | ever
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: Hell naw.
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: No.
Wish you were younger: Sometimes.
Number
Of times I have had my heart broken: Few times.
Of hearts I have broken: Less than people have broken mine >/
Of continents I have lived in: 1.
Of tight friends: One or two, the rest are fuckers.
Of cds I own: dunno like 20?
Of scars on body: 40+
|
2 grieved :: lament
|
|
[27 Apr 2004|08:29pm] |
// series one - basics
-- Name: Ced
-- Middle: fuck
-- Last: you
-- Birthdate: November 22nd, 1986
-- Birthplace: Washington, D.C.
-- Current Location: Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
-- Eye Color: Dark Brown.
-- Hair Color: brown/grey
-- Height: 5'11"
-- Weight: 171-180 my weight fluctuates alot
-- Righty or Lefty: Lefty.
-- Zodiac Sign: Scorpio/Sagittarius, I was born on cusp
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie
// series two - describe
-- Your heritage: Uh... american?
-- Your outfit today: Black t-shirt and basketball shorts
-- Your hair: All nappy and shit, im getting to lazy to get it cut
-- Your weakness: I'm too nice to people who dont deserve it sometimes.
-- Your fears: Like I'd admit that in a public journal.
-- Your eating habits: I eat what I want, when I want.
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: I dunno, grow up and be successful and shit.
// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase: I dunno
-- Your dream girl/guy/whatever: Sami =/
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Legs probably.
-- Your best physical feature: My stomach I guess.
-- Your bedtime: Psh I go to sleep when I want.
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Passing 9th grade >_>;
-- Your political stance: I like freedom ;]
-- Your fave subject: Phys Ed.
-- Your fave band: Staind or Tool maybe
-- Your fave movie: Any Given Sunday right now
-- Your biggest pet peeve: Dumb motherfuckers and boyfriends who are all control freaky and shit and dont want their girl talking to like anyone but them.
-- What makes your heart melt: Sami >_>;
-- Biggest turn on: All kinds of shit. Im not too hard to turn on man.
// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Doesnt matter. Dont really like either.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonalds ;]
-- Single or group dates: Dont really mess with dates like that.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas. Nike bitch.
-- Tea or coffee: Coffee
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Dont care
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino
-- Boxers or briefs: Boxers.
-- Day or night: Night.
-- Flowers or candy: Wtf im not gay.
-- Magazine or internet porn: >_>;
// series five - do you
-- Smoke: Nah.
-- Cuss: All the fucking time
-- Sing: Nope.
-- Dance: Not really.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yeah.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yeah like right now.
-- Want to go to college: Yeah.
-- Like high school: Nah, too many dumbfucks.
-- Want to get married: Sure.
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Psh. No.
-- Believe in yourself: Hell yeah.
-- Beileve in God: Sometimes. Not really.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope.
-- Think you're a health freak: No o.o
-- Get along with your parents: Rarely.
-- Like thunderstorms: Yeah.
-- Play an instrument: Nope. Not since 5th grade. I can kinda play those things that have all the pipes in a line, made of like wood. Not the bagpipes, but like Brazilians play them.
// series six - Have you recently
-- Drank alcohol: I had a drink of 151 a few days ago before work, but that was it.
-- Smoke(d): Not in a good ass minute.
-- Done drugs: Quit in Feb.
-- Had Sex: Noooooope.
-- Made Out: Not since November. =/
-- Gone to the mall?: Yeah.
-- Eaten an entire box of cookies: Yeah.
-- Eaten sushi: Never in my life.
-- Been on stage: No.
-- Been dumped: Nope.
-- Gone skating: Nope.
-- Made homemade cookies: Nope.
-- Been in love: Well yeah
-- Gone skinny dipping: Nope.
-- Dyed your hair: Nope.
-- Stolen anything: lol yeah. I take M&Ms from the cafeteria all the time =/. That doesnt count though.
// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Yeah.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yeah.
-- Been caught "doing something": lol yeah.
-- Been called a tease: Yeah.
-- Got beaten up: Oh yeah.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Nah.
// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: 22-25 around there.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2. One or two. Dunno about the names.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Small, maybe like 5 people. Wedding is just like the ceremony, I probably would have been devoted to them a long time before the wedding.
-- How do you want to die: Definetly not some old guy in a puddle of piss.
-- Where you want to go to college: NCWC or NC State
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: No idea.
-- What country would you most like to visit: I like America. Id like to visit italy i guess.
-- Where do you want to live: New York? Tennessee, Oregon, PA. I dunno
-- Where do you see yourself in the future: Dunno.
// series nine - opposite sex
-- Best eye color?: Brown
-- Best hair color?: Brown or black.
-- Short or long hair?: either way
-- Best height: 5'4-5'8
-- Best weight: Cant be some skinny little thing. Over 150 at the least.
-- Best articles of clothing: Dunno.
-- Best first date location: Dunno.
-- Best first kiss location: Dunno.
// series ten - number of
-- Number of girls I have kissed in my life: like 10-15
-- Number of boys I have kissed: wtf.
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: like 230894723098743209847 but i quit in feb.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: like maybe 6
-- Number of CDs that I own: bunch
-- Number of piercings: None.
-- Number of tattoos: None.
-- Number of scars on my body: a bunch on my knuckles and hands. few on my knees and elbows.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: rofl, that i used to be an asshole. thats about it.
|
1 grieved :: lament
|
| Fucking people. |
[24 Apr 2004|10:42pm] |
I swear to god, I fucking cant stand people. Motherfuckers. Call me up when their drunk, playing some dumb fucking joke, then trying to invite me over to get drunk. Im sick, my fucking hernia is acting up, and I gotta work at 6 in the morning, Im not in the mood to fucking drink. Fucking bitches. If they werent acting so stupid about shit, I wouldnt care. But no, the motherfucker that called me, I didnt even know. My friend fucking gave my number away, now motherfuckers I dont even know, are calling me, asking if I want to come and get drunk. Fuck that. Not to mention I fucking quit back in Feb. Why the fuck cant they accept that and back the fuck off? I dont want to drink, I don't want to smoke. Just fucking leave it at that. Then the boyfriend of the chick is saying how he doesnt want her flirting with me. I dont even fucking want his girlfriend. I got someone I love right now(Sami), I dont wanna mess with his girl, I dont wanna mess with any girl like that besides Sami. I wish hed try something, I would knock his fucking head off. Im all about non-violence, but I cant stand it when motherfuckers get in my face about shit I didnt even do, like they wanna fight or something. I mean, Im a nice guy, I like to avoid confrontation and shit.
Then after that, my fucking ex calls up, talking about how she wants to kill herself. Please, I've had enough crap. "Oh I was on the roof today and I really thought about jumping off". I might take her seriously if she hadnt been saying it for 2 months already. No pity from me. I dont need that shit man, I got enough on my plate. She fucking cheats on me then comes and tries to make me her confidant. That shit doesnt work that way, sorry. You dont fucking talk to me anymore after you do shit like that to me.
Work man, its like im the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. And if I sit around for one fucking second, Im lazy. Im sick today, fucking coughing so hard my kidneys hurt, and they straight tell me I cant call tomorrow off. Dude Im running a fever, with this bronchitis sounding fucking cough that just chips away at my throat, and I work with old folks. They wont even let me call the fuck off. I dont wanna make some old dude sick or nothing, so motherfuckers need to stop MAKING me work, when I havent called off a single day in 3 fucking months. I even worked when my fucking Aunt died, and they know that. They know I wouldnt call off unless I was really fucking sick. I can barely carry the plates out to the kitchen cause Im so whoozy. Shit its hard enough walking straight. I think that fits under officially fucking sick.
Lately I've been bitching alot more than I mean to be, its just im kinda stressed about everything. I really do appreciate you listening though, Kaffie. You dont know how much I appreciate it. <3
And Sami man, I swear when I get home from work and talk to her, it just makes my day better. I dont know how the girl does it. I love her. She listens to everything, and she actually fucking cares, not the superficial bullcrap fake listening caring crap that most people do. Shes so awesome. I love Sami. I really do. I dont know where I'd be without her. Sorry for everyone whos had to listen to me talk about how much I love her. I know it sounds cheesy and shit, but I cant help it.
|
3 grieved :: lament
|
| FOR YOU Kaffie :x |
[13 Feb 2004|07:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Afroman - Because I Got High |
] |
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up.Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.Unpredictable.
RULES:
1. Put your birth month in an entry.
2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
3. Bold the four that best apply to you.
4. Put all twelve months under a journal cut.
( Click Here, biaaaatch )
Yeah so life is ok. All my friends are depressed and stressed and shit, so it kinda comes over me sometimes and I feel down. But it'll all be cool soon. Eventually these guys have to get happier, and shit has to get better. Picking up my athletic slip to run track on tuesday. I will burn that 100m dash ;x Probably gonna do the vertical jump, and broad jump, too. If I have to pick 3 things.
Got my physical yesterday, doctor gave me the nut rub and cough and all that good stuff. Eh. e_e;
Sami is at her play right now, I hope she does good on it, and pwns it like she did yesterday. Im pretty sure she will though, shes good at that stuff o_o. She falls asleep lyk whut on the phone and leaves me hangin' lately xD. <3 Sami.
I got my report card from the school today. Making a 3.2 GPA right now. Not fucking bad. First time on the honor roll since 7th grade xD Dude I so made 60 bucks off that report card. I might go back to McDonalds after Im done with track, cause I need $$ to visit ppl and shit, maybe get a car and pay for insurance too.
I might have a chance at college now too. My overall GPA for like.. all my highschool years came up to 2.1. Hopefully I can get a 2.9 by the end of senior year. I still have half my junior classes to take.
It teh sux when you like someone and they dont like you back. It feels like everything was so wasted. =/ Oh well though. Shit happens right?
Im just getting bitter or some shit, cause of people man. People sux. Especially when they straight up lie to you right to your face. And tell you something you know damn well isn't true.
Peace.
|
4 grieved :: lament
|
| Yeah. |
[27 Jan 2004|01:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
Man shits workin' out good. Once all the drama stopped. I hate drama among friends, but who don't, you know? I wish shit could be all hunky dory. I guess you need drama too though
Exams.. whenever I go to school next time. Dunno when that'll be. Im not worried about them though. I know I'll do okay. It's only one letter grade anyway. Thats kinda big though. x_o
Just started talking to a bunch of my old friends I havent talked to in a while again. Nik, Justin, Sami, Alex, Jess, all you guys. Man I missed y'all. I dont know wtf we didnt talk for. I guess it was the SN thing plus me not being on right before proditor got canceled. But either way, missed you guys. Actually I just met Sami. Shes hella cool. We like so much of the same shit. It's crazy. <3 Sami. Only other person I've ever met that can sit around, not say shit, not do shit for a while, and not be bored. Cause i dont always like to talk alot, believe it or not. I guess I dont got.. the social skeelz.
All new classes next semester. Physics and Pre Calc. that sucks. big hmk classes.
I wish some of the snow would go away so I could go out x_x;
My friends might not be going to North Carolina for College. I know I am though. Unless a certain few people decide not to go, then I might just enlist. Feels good to finally know what Im gonna do after HS though. I worry about that alot.
Why is life good though? Man Im comfortable. Im chilling out. Finally a chance to just hang out. Im livin' like the Office Space guy wanted to right now. Doing absolutely nothing, but what I want. What Ced wants. I love it. No laundry, my rooms clean, driveway is shoveled, so I dont gotta worry about SHIT.
I sped my 40 up by .1 seconds. Actually a big difference. Its gonna be hard to stay under 5 cause I hurt my knee a while back. I know I can start next year for football now ;D. Just gotta try and make 10 more pounds at least so I can stuff recievers at the line like I used to do in 9th.
I think I seriously need to change some. When Im talking to people sometimes, like IRL. I come off as kind of icy all the time. It's really not like that at all. I just feel like I gotta keep up my guard all the time. I got some real trust issues or something I guess. Dunno. Maybe thats why I got trouble with girls here, as opposed to Baltimore. I cant get shit for a relationship here. Nothing I would want, anyway. I don't care anymore though. Someday shit will work out. I know it ;]
Well thats all I really gotta say. =/ Later.
|
5 grieved :: lament
|
| since everyone else is =/ |
[14 Jan 2004|04:46am] |
Basics
Name:: Bedric
Age:: 17
Height:: 5'10" - 5'11"
Hair Color:: Really dark brown. I got a few grey hairs too. Stress man. x_x;
Eye Color:: it varies a little, but its usually this hazel color.
School Life
What's your school's mascot?: Indian o.o
School color(s)?: Maroon and White
G.P.A.?: Right now its like... 3.5 or so. College man. My whole HS one is like a 1.5.
Who is your favorite teacher?: Vanderboegh
What do they teach?: German
Is this your favorite class?: Hell yeah. No homework at ALL.
Internet
Do you use any instant messengers?: Of course not >_>;
If so, which ones?: AIM o.o
About how many hours a day do you spend online?: Like it varies. Sometimes 1-2, sometimes more like 4.
You have a digital camera?: Yeah, but no piece to get it into the computer.
If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?: Nope o.o
Music
Do you play any instruments?: Ya.
If so, what one(s)?: used to play trumpet and drums
3 Favorite Genres Of Music: Rap, Rock, and uhh... I dunno. I like lots of shit.
3 Favorite Bands: Dunno.
Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: Once I did.
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: Shit I got in free o.o
What is the least you've ever spent?: Free bitch ;]
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: Dunno. If you really want to.
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: Yeah, if I told my friends I listen to some of the shit I do, Id never hear the end of it.
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: fuck you o.o
Word Association
Blue:: jeans
Camera:: photogenic?
Boy:: guy
Pretty:: Where?
Pants:: legs
Music:: Loud
God:: Sin
Sweater:: itchy
Live Journal:: read
MTV:: commercials
Labels
Do you think labels are dumb?: Yeah.
Why or why not?: Cause it stops people from hanging out with you, even if you guys could be cool and all.
What do people label you as?: I hang with the weed smoking ghetto people o.o so...
How/Why did you get this label?: Cause when I moved here I sat at their lunch table
Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: Dunno. Id have to say Physical x_o
Blink-182/Good Charlotte?: Good Charlotte
Being Deaf/Being Blind?: Being Blind. <-----Smart Sharii. same here. Least I could see where I was going if I was deaf. And I could read lips.
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: Rushing Around. x_x; I hate being in a hurry for shit. <-------I agree with Sharii.
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: Arm. And I wont say why. Get your mind out the gutter u_u;
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: Yeah.
Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?: Sure? I dunno. Havent really been IN love.
Are you romantic?: I dunno. Probably not, cause I feel really stupid when I get all mushy and tell people I like them, and I tend to turn it into a joke or some shit.
Are you in a relationship now?: Nope.
If not, how long have you been single?: err like 6 months man. Its really bad.
Are you a virgin?: Sure am.
What song describes your love life right now?: I dont got time to think about this.
Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?: Bad.
What do you think of designer labels?: Too much money.
What is it with guys and cars?: I like good ol' American muscle cars. I dont know whats up with all these tricked up imports, but they DO look kinda cool.
Do you sing?: Sometimes. I know Brendii does. xD
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: Dude I dont even know which is which.
Kiss or hug?: Both?
What color is your room?: White. xD
How old is your mom?: Almost 50.
Black and white or color photos?: YE FOOL. color of course. ;]
Who cuts your hair?: Barber.
What color is your toothbrush?: White and green
What color is your hair brush?: brown and black
What kind of hair products do you use?: Shit I just use conditioner, shampoo is a given.
Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?: Wal-mart is the poor mans K-Mart.
Are you sXe?: You know it bitch. ;]
Are you sexy?: YEAH BITCH. I dunno.
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: I dunno. Grey and blue?
What color do you think looks nice on you?: Dunno o.o
Who do you sit with at lunch? Already told you that.
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: Fuck no
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: Brendii got one of them speaking voices when she does that mature thing. She could be a Public relations person for a company or something o.o;
What is the website for one of your favorite bands?: Fuck if I know, I dont like them that much.
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: I dont give a shit o.o
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: Sometimes xD
Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?: HAH. WHAT DO THOSE MEAN?
How often do you bathe?: I shower and bathe every day o.o
Are you a people-pleaser?: Sure, sometimes I guess.
Do you dye your hair regularly?:Never have in my life.
What about your eyebrows?: Thick italian bastard ass eyebrows.
Do you wear makeup?: wtf no.
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: Edited CD's fucking suck. I want to hear the cuss words.
Can you beatbox?: Maybe o.o
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: If she did. Id kill her. FUCK THAT SONG.
k guys I gotta go and unplagarize my term paper before I get a zero for it :D?
|
lament
|
| survey o.o |
[15 Sep 2003|04:43pm] |
.Name= Ced
2.Nicknames= Ced, Bedric.
3.Physical description= bout 6', hazel/green eyes, ash brown hair, skinny muscular build.
4.Interests= Boxing, football, hockey, bionicles, stuff.
5.Turn Ons= humor, smile, eyes, lots of shit.
6.Turn Offs= arrogance, girly girls.
7.What do you think of yourself= o.o I dunno. I like watching fights. :D?
8.What do you friends think of you= They think im one ghetto bitch >_>;
Part 2: Movies
1.favorite kind of movie= Adventure, Action, mecha :D?
2.Favorite actor/actress= Sean Connery ;x
3.What actor/actress would you love to fuck= dunno.
4.Top 3 all time fav movies= LOTR, Gladiator, and uhh..dunno.
5.Coolest movie scene= The LOTR battles.
6.Sadest movie scene= Ending of gladiator o.o;
7.Happiest movie scene= dunno
8.Favorite movie villlian= Dunno.
9.Favorite movie hero= dunno.
Part 3: Music
1.What kind of music do you like= Rap, Little rock, little pop, some techno.
2.Who is your fav musician= Dunno o.o
3.What musician would you like to fuck= Aguilera ;x
4.Fav song= 2pac & P. Diddy - Ill be missin you remix.
((Yes I know this part is short but it has been done to death on other surveys.))
Part 4: What if Questions(will be written in sections)
Section 1 - Weird
1.If Jason Vorhees (the killer from Friday the 13th) was chasing you what would you do? Id shoot his dumb ass o.o like a whole clip, then stab him a few hundred times. See if you come back when its done right u_u;
2.If Jesus knocked on your door what would you do? o.o FUCK MAN i dont know.
3.If you died and had the chance to make a deal with the devil and come back to earth as a demon with powers and get back at everyone you hated, whould you do it? Psh, I can get all the revenge I need while Im alive.
4.If you could have any super power what would it be? Dunno. Id wanna know everything ;]
5.Would you have sex with an alien? FUCK NO.
6.Would you fuck Jesus if you could (for straight guys: if Jesus was a girl)? You should be shot o.o
7.If you found 20$ in a public toilit with piss and and a turd in there would you take it out? Money is good, but I aint that dirty.
8.What would you do for Klondik bar? Your uncle charlie o.o
9.If god asked you to build an ark what would you say? u_u fuck that, id just rent a yacht.
10.Is the truth really out there? yeah
11.How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie rool center of a tootsie pop? What kinda dumbass licks those things? o.o man I bite the shit out of them.
Section 2 - Evil
1.If you were a demon what would you do in your spare time? o.o demon stuff. Id throw fireballs at cars :D?
2.How psychotic are you? >_>;
3.Is spyderfreak85 really that evil and twisted? well.. I never really talked to him u_u we didnt get along good.
4.How would you get rid of a dead body(of a person you killed)? throw his ass in an incinerator o.o then id clean out the inside of the incinerator, cause fat tissue is on the walls sometimes after you burn a body.
5.Who are you planning to kill(you know there is someone)? >_> G-14 classified son.
6.What do the voices tell you to do? o.o PSH. THEY DONT TELL ME SHIT. I got them whipped u_u;
7.If the devil asked you to do him a favor and said he would grant you one wish if you did it, would you do it? Nah, if I want something Ill get it myself.
8.If you could take over the world would you and what would you do? I dont wanna take over this world. SHIT. it aint even worth taking over. but Ill rule it with Stephii and Brendii. o.o Itd be like that roman shit when they split it into 3 pieces.
Section 3 - Sick and Disturbing
1.If you were a sheep would you fuck another sheep? If I was a sheep id do ur mom.
2.There is more than 1 way to skin a baby. Prolly.
3.Would you fuck a dog for 1 billion dollars or at lest give it oral? Tempting o.o Howsabout you fuck a dog and then give me a billion dollars or I kill you?
4.If you were Hannibal Lecter how would you cook the brains? u_u Id give it a little honey taste. Maybe make it into a sandwich afterwards with some nice tomatoes.
5.How do you make baby oil? well.. o.o; theres lots o ways ;D
6.Am I really a sick freak? o.o well.... yes. Go to Nambla u_u;
7.If you found a pile of dead babies in your garage what would you do? o.o damn. id burn them all
8.Would you squeeze your sisters boob for 2 secs for 10 grand? I dont have a sister but Id squeeze a random girls for 2 secs :D?
9.Would you play its just wrong on the Howard stern show? o.o no.
10.If you were a zombie would you fuck another zombie? Zombies need some lovin' too u_u;
11.If you were Jesus would you use the status as Gods son to get you laid? o.o; Where do you think this shit up?
|
lament
|
| hehehe survey |
[30 Aug 2003|03:46pm] |
[my name is]: Ced
[in the morning i am]: pissed off
[all I need is]: stuff
[love is]: lovely?
[I'm afraid of]: fucking grasshoppers
[I dream about]: Man I dream about some weird shit.
-.F A V O R I T E S.-
[COLOR]: Green.
[NUMBER]: 13
[SUBJECT:] Gym :D
[CLOTHING BRAND:] Dunno.
[SHOE BRAND:] And1
[SPORT TO PLAY:] Boxing, football
[DRINK:] Rootbeer
[ANIMAL:] Stephguana ;]
[HOLIDAY:] Christmas and Easter, vacations ;]
[FAVORITE LINE FROM A MOVIE:] I like lots of lines. "Damn girl, did you clean your pants with windex? Cause I can see myself in them ;]"
[BAND:] dunno
[MOVIE:] dunno
-.H A V E.Y O U.E V E R.-
[pictured your crush naked?]: No crush at the moment o.o
[actually seen your crush naked]: kinda impossible
[had sex]: No u_u
[made love]: Nope
[been in love]: PSH. no
[cried when someone died]: Dont think so.
[lied]: Of course not.
-.W H O.-
[makes you laugh the most?]: Sharii, Stephii, Kaffie, and Brendii can crack me up fo realz sometimes o.o
[makes you smile]: MAN I MAKE MYSELF SMILE. SHIT.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: o.o Im not that sprung.
[has a crush on you?]: some girl a grade lower than me. Dont mess with her though.
[easiest to talk to]: Jan
-D O.Y O U.E V E R.-
[sit on the Internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: sometimes o.o
[save aol/aim conversations]: nope
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: ACTUALLY I DO SOMETIMES MAN. CRAZY SHIT.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: Nope.
-.H A V E.Y O U.E V E R.-
[fallen for your best friend]: HA. yeah.
[been rejected]: Yep. Not directly, but yeah.
[rejected someone]: Yeah. Darn glad I did it too.
[used someone]: Dont think so.
[been cheated on]: Heh. Yeah.
[done something you regret]: Who hasnt?
-.W H O.W A S.T H E.L A S T.P E R S O N.-
[you talked to on the phone]: brandon and Jan
[hugged]: uhh... dunno.
[you instant messaged]: Stephii
[that instant messaged you]: Stephii o.o
[you laughed with]: Kev, Brendii, Stephii
-.D O.Y O U / A R E.Y O U.-
[smoke cigarettes]: Hell no.
[obsessive]: Sometimes. >_>;
[could you live without the computer?]: dunno o.o;
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 74. FUCK YOU STEPHII YOU HAVE 5 MORE THAN ME I HATE YOU.
[what's your favorite food?]: Dunno. I like Elios Pizza though.
[whats your favorite fruit?]: melons.
[drink alcohol?]: >_>;
[like watching sunrises or sunsets]: Yeah.
[what hurts the most?]: Wrapping your hand around red hot irons x_x
[trust others way too easily?]: Fuck no. Homie dont play that.
-.N U M B E R.-
[of times I have had my heart broken? ]: Maybe once.
[of hearts u have broken?]: a few x_o
[of continents I have lived in?]: 1
[of drugs taken illegally?]: STFU. >_>;
[of tight friends?]: like 10-15.
[of cd's that I own?]: bout 50-60
[of scars on my body ?]: shitload.
[of things in my past that I regret?]: Couple.
-.P I C K.O N E.-
[MARRY PERFECT FRIEND OR PERFECT LOVER]: Both o.o
[CATS OR DOGS:] Dogs.
[1 PILLOW OR 2 :] 3
[W/ OR W/O ICE CUBES: ] Without
[TOP OR BOTTOM :] Dont matter to me ;]
[WINTER/SPRING/SUMMER/FALL:] Spring and winter
[NIGHT OR DAY:] Night
[GLOVES OR MITTENS:] gloves
[DRESSED OR UNDRESSED:] Undressed.
[BUNK OR WATER BED:] Bunk beds
[MTV OR VH1: ] MTV has more commercials, VH1 doesnt have as many of the videos I like.
[OCEAN OR POOL:] Pool.
[SHOWERS OR BATHS:] DOnt matter to me.
[LOVE OR LUST:] Both ;]
[SILVER OR GOLD:] Silver.
[DIAMONDS OR PEARLS:] Diamonds.
-.I F.Y O U.C O U L D.-
[Move anywhere:] Baltimore.
[Meet one famous person:] Roy Jones
[ Live with one person the rest of your life:] SHIIIIT. MY LITTLE CREW THING. HEARTBEAT BABY.
[Name one thing you love:] boxing
[Name one thing that embarrasses you:] Being the center of attention.
[Do you like school? ] FUCK NO.
[Do you like to talk on the telephone?] Not really.
[Do you like to dance? ] Freak Dance o.o
[Do you sing in the shower?] eh.
[Do you think cheerleading is a sport?]: XD NO.
[What's on your ceiling?] Light.
[What's the hardest thing about growing up?] Responsibility. You cant just goof off like you used to.
|
1 grieved :: lament
|
| Im one bad motherfucker |
[10 Aug 2003|02:05am] |
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
Yeah thats right motherfucker, be afraid of me. I WILL KILL YOU. FOOL.
|
lament
|
| Well shit |
[07 Aug 2003|03:59am] |
Only reason Im writing in this motherfucker is cause Im bored off my ass, and aint shit to do. Nobody is online. Man, when are all you fuckers coming back?
Im tired as a motherfucker right now, I ran about 5 miles today through all kinds of crap cause of this thing me and Stephii are doing. It didnt take that long, maybe like 7:45-8 minute miles, so thats like what, 40 minutes?
Im looking for shit to put in this box Im gonna send to Stephii. I still gotta buy me glowstix. I love those little bastards.
Nothing is really going on right now, except getting ready for school and crap. More of these fuckers around here thinkin' they are big shit. I hope I dont get expelled or anything for fighting, cause these asses are used to people stepping down when they get up in someones face. Im not gonna be nobody's bitch.
Well damn, with that kind of attitude its no wonder I havent made many friends around here.
I cant help it though, whenever I meet someone new, and they disrespect me and shit, I feel like I gotta fight them or else Im some kind of little wussy bitch. Unless they're a friend or something.
Some shit like that went down today when I was out jogging. Why cant motherfuckers just mind their own business? Im fuckin lucky my friends were there to help me get control of myself. Man I get disgusted with myself after I zap out like that. Why can't Mr. Big Nuts with his hot new import just keep his mouth shut and leave people alone?
It wasn't like this in Baltimore. Park your nice ride on a street corner and talk shit, youd get your teeth knocked out and your ride taken for that kinda shit. But if you had just shut the fuck up, nobody would have messed with you.
God damn. I hate being like this.
|
1 grieved :: lament
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